Multitude Monday: Touchdown!

There is not a detail of that day that escapes me.  I remember what I did that morning.  I remember what the weather was like.  I remember what I was doing when the phone rang and what I heard on the other end when I answered.  That day was the beginning of a horrific journey in which I watched cancer eat away at my mom’s physical body, her beauty, her pride, and her family….slowly and painfully…..until she took her last breath six years ago this past January.  Those eleven months were so hard, just the getting up every.single.day……I honestly don’t know how I made it through.

And then came the next year….. the one where we nearly suffocated under the weight of the responsibility on our shoulders.

Eight years prior to her death, my mom adopted a sibling group from Russia, three boys and a girl.  When she died they had nobody…..Ryan and I became their somebody. You could say everything about our lives for the last six years has revolved around raising the four of them – where we live, the house we live in, the car we drive, my husband’s career, our friends, our free time and many choices we have made for our daughters.   We have encountered EVERYTHING we thought we would NEVER encounter as parents and in reality our parenting journey is only in the beginning stages.  Our time of raising those four kids is ending, as the youngest will graduate this May and according to the opinion of most we are finally “free” to live our own lives.  I see their point and I feel a pull towards the “freedom” they describe, but I also feel deep and special love for these kids who have become our own in so many ways.

So now what? In a few months we will throw a graduation party and watch him walk across the stage.  Then we will come home and pack boxes……our house will be sold.  Our car will be sold.  They were purchased by my mom for us to use, while raising the kids. And then we are “done”.  But are we really…..

They still need us……we still need them.

They are part of us…….we are part of them.

Make a new home?  Intertwined with the old.

Start a new life?  Keeping all we love and letting the rest go.

Where?

When exactly?

And…how?

WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.

I’ve been scared to write this post.  To tell you just how much of no idea we have.

I could say that there are more questions than answers, but that would be a lie.  I don’t think we have even one answer….

And that’s where the football part comes in.  My Pastor said if I set the ball in place, then all I need to do is sit back and watch God kick the Field Goal.

You see if I share everything…..the good, the tough and everything in between, then you will read it and you will know the absolute truth about God’s faithfulness, when you put your trust in Him.

And He will be glorified.

And I will have fulfilled what I set out to do in sharing our story in this little place called A Bokros Kind of Life.

A few more Gifts…..

410. moving boxes

411. packing tape

412. trash cans

413. a clean garage

414. plans

415. a sweet, sweet friend for a Prom Date

416. dreams

417. icy, cold days

418. a warm fire in the fireplace

419. anticipating hearing a tiny heartbeat soon!

420. Being loved by a God who know all the details!

Blessings to you as you begin a new week!

If you stopped by for Teach Me Tuesday, I appreciate your patience while I take care of myself and this new little one growing inside of me.  I hope to be back to regular link ups VERY soon!